I am a pass out from Punjab University. It’s been ten years since I left university. I am in active contact with my seniors up to ten years and the juniors studying in my special education department to date. Hundred students have classes in the morning and evening, in which 80 to 90 percent are girls. Among my seniors, there are one or two girls in each session who are not married and do not seem to be married now. Many did not even get engaged once. Most of them are over 40 years old. There are 2 to 5 divorced in each class. I will only talk about those who are not married.
There are many other girls around me whose ages have exceeded the age of marriage as per the norms of the society. Despite all possible efforts, they could not get married even after falling far below their level and there is no possibility of it happening.
One thing to keep in mind is that it is not mandatory to get married in anyway. Abu Yahya, the author of the famous book “Jab Zindagi Shuru Hogi” (Translated as “When Life Begins”) calls this situation “eternal fasting”. Sisters who are not married should be chaste. Be financially self-sufficient and be good to your siblings and other family members living with you, do not cause troubles or unwarranted interruptions for them. God willing, my Allah will have a great reward for you. Don’t get disheartened with what people say and get married in a place where you don’t have a suitable partner. It is not forbidden in Islam to be alone.
There are also many boys who could not get married for any reason. Those brothers of mine, also be chaste. Involve yourself in a social service. Set your life on a greater purpose.
Numerous special people also fall into this category. Even a person with a minor disability is rejected on hearing of the disability. And this happens to them for 10 to 20 years. Exhausted, they take the desire for marriage out of their hearts. By then, their personality would get so damaged, their soul would get so wounded which nobody is able to guess. They get angry with all of us humans, including their families, forever.
I will tell both normal and special groups of boys and girls that don’t let yourself be rejected by people with materialistic thinking every day. If you don’t see marriage in your life now, then be financially stable instead of being a burden on parents or siblings. And work for the world’s major problems such as poverty, clean water supply, deforestation, lack of access to education, noise pollution, air pollution elimination, the call to faith and morality, work for the religion of Allah at any level and plan to spend the rest of your life on a track.
God Willing, when you leave this world, you will have a happiness that you have done something in life. My Lord will surely reward you for this eternal fast in the world that you tried your best but was satisfied with His pleasure and lived in the service of His creatures.
What will you get in the end if you spent your life blaming yourself, family, relatives, society or society’s customs for not getting married? If you remain bitter your whole life, what would you achieve? If you are deceived by someone out of self-pity, life would be more bitter. By complaining or keeping hatred for yourself or family in your heart, you will become bitter and hurt yourself and no one else.
Some people don’t have marriage in their fate. This has been happening since time immemorial and will continue forever. Accept it and encourage such people around you and their families to accept this truth.