I said in the previous column that problems affect us from two aspects. They make us suffer from significant mental distractions and anxiety. Amid this distraction, a person does not take any practical steps; if he does, he takes the wrong steps under pressure. Secondly, if mental distraction and anxiety persist, it causes many painful, life-threatening diseases. Therefore, getting out of this situation as soon as possible is necessary. The trick is to determine the worst possible outcome of the problem, prepare yourself mentally so that you will face the worst, and then start looking for a solution that is the best possible solution under these circumstances.
The advantage of this method is that when a person is mentally prepared to accept the worst, he gets rid of tension and anxiety. After this, the person’s mind becomes entirely focused on the solution to the problem, and in most situations, the human mind finds a solution to the problem, eliminating most of the issues.
The feedback of some readers in the previous column was that what I wrote is valuable and effective in the subject, but I should also teach practical examples to deal with problems. In today’s meeting, God willing, I will try to put a helpful way to solve the issues before you. The last point mentioned in the previous column was to start looking for the best possible solution in those situations. I will present it to you today in the form of a three-point formula in a practical way.
The first point: diagnose the problem before solving it
The first point in this context is that when faced with a problem, most of us make a fundamental mistake. We jump to finding or proposing solutions without fully understanding the problem. Instead of taking a person out of the pit full of problems, this leap repeatedly pushes him further into the swamp of such issues. I have thoughtfully compared the problems to a swamp. A person who falls into a swamp tries to move his hands and feet without thinking. He will not be able to succeed, but he may get stuck deeper into the swamp. The primary way to get out of the marsh is to look around carefully. First, he should look for the possibility of external help that someone else throws the rope and make it easier for him to get out of the swamp. Or if he can hold a tree branch to get out of it. If these two ways are unavailable, it is more helpful to get out of the marshy land in a swimming style instead of walking through it.
However, man will deal with all this situation when he realizes he has fallen into the swamp, not the pit. I am pointing out that the most dangerous behavior in solving problems is when decision-making starts without fully understanding the seriousness of the situation. This attitude is just like a doctor starts prescribing without diagnosing the disease. Doctors listen to the patient’s symptoms before prescribing the medicine and then conduct relevant tests for their satisfaction, thus getting the complete picture of the illness before them. It is not possible to give the right medication without a proper diagnosis. Similarly, it is impossible to solve a problem appropriately without a diagnosis. Here in this method, one has to gather all the basic facts, data, and information about the issue and bring all aspects of the problem before oneself.
An example of this is that today unemployment is very high; with the increasing number of newly educated youth, the number of unemployed people who have lost their jobs has also been increasing. Many unemployed people are apprehensive about their livelihood. Aside from despair or depression, economic hardship, the feeling of idleness, and bitterness at home are its daily results. Many people are troubled in this situation, asking for jobs in different places and spending time requesting dua (prayer) from righteous people. Although if they start collecting facts, they will find that there is undoubtedly an opportunity for them somewhere in life. And if that opportunity does not appear, they will find some weaknesses in them. They will know what they lack in knowledge or their abilities, so they cannot find a job. Instead of wasting time, they can try to fill their deficiency. They can take some courses or some training. It has been noticed several times that the job comes out of the same places.
Facts and biases
Here is another important thing that I want to bring to readers’ attention: in many cases, presenting all complete facts is not as simple as it seems. Because the problems we face are often personal, involving our feelings and emotions, which do not allow us to collect correct data. The most significant manifestation of this comes in the form of relationship breakdowns. The main reason for failures in close relationships is that emotions overwhelm us when trying to understand the issue. We often look at only one side of the picture due to our feelings and make decisions based on that, which creates a big mess.
A practical way to deal with that problem is to gather facts against yourself, like a lawyer, to examine the situation from an opponent’s point of view instead of gathering facts for yourself. It will not only allow us to understand the perspective of others but also allow us to see that there is another way of seeing reality before we get emotional and decide. Sometimes a person behaves so sensitively that he does not try to consider the other party’s point of view. One possibility is that we try to collect data for someone else instead of ourselves, which will reveal an accurate picture of the issue. I can assure you that trying to solve the problem without going through this process will always cause much damage.
The second point: unbiased analysis of the facts
If the first step towards solving the problem is to gather all the facts, then the second step is an impartial analysis of the problem, and it should be thoroughly evaluated with all relevant aspects and parties in mind. Then a solution should be found in which there is minimum loss. Man’s brilliance in solving a problem is not to solve it at any cost, but actual perfection is to give the least possible price. It is only possible when all the facts are analyzed thoroughly.
There are two simple ways to do this. One is to put the problem before a trusted and thoughtful person. The fact is that by articulating, the theme, issue, and solution all become clearer. By explaining, we communicate with others and learn many things for the first time because the other person raises questions and objections. The extra advantage is that someone with experience in the problem can give us better advice.
However, some people do not want to share a secret with others, or there is no such wise person around them. Then the solution is to write down all aspects of the problem and their potential solutions, including their cost. No problem in this world is unsolvable. It has a value that we can or cannot give. We have to find a price that we can afford. We have to find the solution with the least cost among multiple solutions.
Like speaking, writing also makes many things more apparent to a person. In writing, the mind gets diverted from the problem to the solution. Maybe a better answer gets clicked while writing. Thus, we must write down all the possible steps and identify the best possible answer.
The third point: Do it
The third point is straightforward. Take action according to the solution. Do not hesitate. Because in such a situation, anxiety, mental disorder, and tension will all become your life’s ulcer. Remember, the actual harm to a person is not caused by problems but by the stress and anxiety that arises from them. Therefore, when a person makes a decision, he should follow it, after which all types of problems will be over. As a person has already evaluated every step, understood every possibility of failure, and assessed every cost of success, there is no point in hesitating. So, do what you have thought.
The most significant advantage of this process is that the human mind is engaged in solving the problem instead of being stuck in worry and anxiety, which is a big success. Here it should also be remembered that there is no immediate solution to many problems in life. Such issues should be put in the box of patience and waiting, and one should keep seeking rewards from Allah. In religious terms, this is called tafwid-o-tawakal, so tawakal (trust) means to take a step after checking out all the possibilities, and tafwid (to authorize) means to leave the matter to Allah, where it is impossible to take. It is the highest level of faith.
By adopting this method, whether a person solves the problem or not, he obtains the things for which he is trying to resolve the issues: peace of mind and tranquility in the heart. All the struggle of man is actually for achieving the above effects. By the grace of Allah, if a man attains these effects with patience, trust, and authorizing Allah, then even without solving the problem, he still finds his real goal.
The last thing in this context is that this whole three-point formula is effective for others too. So when an employee in the business or a friend or relative has a problem, ask them to go through this three-point process; they will find great solutions to their problems on their own and thus be better trained for the future.