Children are the best asset of human beings. They are not only a continuation of his self but also the most critical center of his hopes and desires. Who among us can imagine a dire future for our kids? But a promising future for children cannot be achieved by mere desires and aspirations. This requires a clear and definite strategy. Today, we will briefly describe the techniques to help your child become a comfort for your eyes in this world and the Hereafter.
These upbringing principles for children are written unconventionally. If observed, they will lead to moral training and mental development of children and their parents. As a result, one will get the serenity of mind which is the goal of every human endeavor in this world. A home where you can be safe from the hustle and bustle of the world and find peace of mind is undoubtedly a great blessing. These principles will not only make your dwelling such a home but help your next generation become a blessing not only for you but for the whole society.
At this point, I will also request my readers that if they learn something valuable, then it is their moral duty to share it with fellow beings. Hence, please try to share this writing with every one of your aquaintances.
1) Good Thoughts for a good life
Generally, parents try to fill their children with happiness. Happiness usually means providing a lot of worldly things. Joy, however, is not limited to material things. Happiness comes from having a positive outlook on life. It is impossible to escape from misery and unpleasant situations in this world. You can’t save your children from harmful conditions no matter what you do.
Yes, there is a way to cool down the fire of suffering on your children. That is, to give your children a positive outlook on life. Let him know that grim situations in the world give birth to the best human beings. In that sense, these hardships are a blessing from God. They not only nurture man’s abilities in the best possible way but also become the means of attaining the pleasure of God and His best blessings in the Hereafter. So teach children to take difficulties as a challenge. After that, they will courageously embrace the same sorrows that make others weak.
2) The habit of hard work
The second thing to give children is the habit of hard work. Parents want to make life easier for their children. But excessive love makes their life difficult in the future. Children are often spoiled by pampering. There is no chance of success for the idle and sluggish people in this world. Success comes only from hard work. Even intelligence distinguishes itself by sitting on the shoulders of hard work. It is said in English.
Genius is ninety percent perspiration and only ten percent inspiration.
So intelligence is 90% hard work and only 10% mental capacity.
Get your children accustomed to hard mental and physical work from early childhood. Don’t wait for the kids to grow up for such tasks. As children get older, their behaviors become more difficult to change. As habits can only be instilled in childhood.
3) Your child learns from you.
The child is a complete imitator. He learns everything from you or from the environment you provide. So make your children the way you want them to be and provide them with that environment. A child who hears lies at home all the time is not expected to hate it after reading in a book that telling lies is bad. It is impossible.
One problem in modern times is that children spend more time with TV than their parents. The media has its own interests to promote romance, sex, and violence. In that case, if you leave your kids to the TV programs, then the effects of all these things will influence them. Similarly, some of the adverse effects of Western culture and traditions will quietly be transmitted to your children through this medium. So you must take this issue seriously. Your seemingly harmless desire for cheap entertainment can darken both your children’s world and the Hereafter. Therefore, it is better to limit yourself and your children to only those aspects of media related to knowledge and good entertainment and do not allow children to go beyond that.
4) Personal attention and direct dialogue
Gone are the days when kids are nurtured habitually. Now every child wants personal attention. Despite all your precautions, the evils and vices in society will reach your child. Your personal relationship with the children will protect them from the effects of these evils. Your friendly relationship and direct communication will help you talk openly about every immorality and tell them that how these things are against our religious and cultural values. Without it, your children will turn to ignorant friends, shameless books, and other means to divert their curiosity, which will mislead them mentally and practically.
5) Make children the best humans
As Muslims, it is our responsibility to pass on the basic concepts of religion to our children. There is a Creator of this world. He has sent His messengers to guide us. His guidance is before us in the form of religion. One day we have to appear before our Lord and answer for our deeds. Those who do virtuous deeds will go to heaven, and those who do evil deeds will go to hell. Our primary responsibility is to pass on to our children these basic concepts.
It is also the responsibility of the parents to teach good moral values such as modesty, honesty, truthfulness, and justice in their personality. Similarly, resolving issues through dialogue and reaching out to facts through research instead of hearsay are superior human qualities. As we mentioned above, your child learns from you, so to impart high religious, moral, and human attributes in children, you have to incorporate these qualities in your life.
6) Taking into consideration good education and preferences
In addition to all the above, giving children a good education according to their tastes is essential. A good education from an early age does not mean getting admission to expensive English medium schools. But they have full access to the curriculum in whatever school they attend. The curriculum of an ordinary Urdu medium government school is also highly advanced. The suggestion is that the syllabus should be covered entirely and educated as it is entitled to be taught. Therefore, you should try to make sure that your child is well versed in the curriculum of any school he attends. For this, you must take a personal interest in your child’s education. You must test him in different ways to assess his abilities.
In our country, the system of “cramming” under which children’s aptitude is tested is very ineffective in practical life and absolutely useless in creating real ability in children. Whether it’s education or training, knowledge should be a part of a child’s personality and experiences, not his memory. When knowledge becomes a part of a child’s personality and experiences, he develops a special kind of taste in it. When you choose the stages of higher education for your child, it should depend on the child’s own preferences and not on the financial benefits. Children educated according to their tastes are always cohesive in their skills. The passion and interest in their talent prevent them from facing financial problems and doing work gives them peace of mind. This peace of mind is the total capital of a human being.
7) Help a New Family
The ultimate primary responsibility of parents is to settle down their children. Unfortunately, we do not provide any training for young boys and girls in this regard. Their training is done only by the hands of the media in which a beautiful young lady or a beautiful young ideal is made. At the same time, due to economic problems, the age of marriage has increased a lot. For the above reasons, the idea of marriage in the minds of young people is limited to the union of two bodies. What is a family? Why does it come into existence? What are the responsibilities of the parties in it? We do not guide our children in these and other essential matters.
In our case, marriage means that when a child can earn money, he should choose a girl with wealth and beauty. When this girl comes home, domestic politics and injustice starts that cannot be be matched even by international politicians. So growing up in an untrained and imaginary world, these boys and girls spend their early years in a world of chaos and anxiety. They even become accustomed to these situations and start doing worse things to their children than what happened to them.
That is why parents need to support their children thoroughly before and after the formation of the family. They keep in mind their preferences in family formation. In choosing a relationship, set the standard for long-lasting and robust principles of character and morality rather than material virtues. During the construction of a new family, always keep in mind the principle that, as a result, one family gets a son and the other receives a daughter. It’s a win-win situation in which nothing is lost for anyone and everyone has benefitted. Then the new family will take a stable shape and a better training ground will exist for the newborn human beings in society.
After adopting the above recommendations, it is hoped that your children will prove to be a tremendous and proud asset to you and to the community. At the same time, keep praying to Allah for the betterment of your children because prayer is the real weapon of the believer. Especially keep reciting this supplication of the Qur’an in all circumstances. (Surah Furqan, ayah 74)
Translation: Our Lord, bless us with wives and children, who may be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders of the righteous.